Written by me on Jun 28, 2009
Explaining the title: the 1st pregnancy book I got is called "Pregnancy Sucks - What to do when your miracle makes you miserable", of Joanne Kimes. Wonderful book. Intelligent, informative and specially very very funny. Recommended to every mother-to-be.
So!! The thing is, I am a bit pregnant. No, actually I think I'm passed the point where I can say "a bit". I am very much pregnant. How far away am I? Well, pregnancy math is one of the most paradoxically complicated things on Earth, comparable to that very philosophical question "why would Donald Duck wear a towel on his bottom when he comes out the shower, if normally he doesn't wear any pants?". The thing is, when you count time - for example - when a baby is born, or when you start a company or a relationship, you wait until the end of a month, for example, to say "my baby/company/relationship is one month old". When you're pregnant, you don't wait till the end of the month to say you're one month pregnant. You just say "I'm on the 1st month". So, although I am now on the 5th month, if I had started a company on the same day I got pregnant, I'd say that my company is 4 months old. Probably for this reason doctors decided that the best is to say simply "I'm on the 18th week", and just let the others do the math. Was this understandable at all? If not, don't bother. If you ever get pregnant, then start worrying about it.
The big problem with pregnancy is all the things people don't talk about, and unfortunately you start finding out only after you're already there. Oh yes. Did you think pregnancy was just that magical time when a woman grows bigger and bigger together with the expectations and the smile in her face, and everything is a sea of roses? WRONG! There are a lot of not-so-bright stuff in the middle, and a whole lot of nasty stuff as well.
I'm positive that one of the worst things is what I call "encouraging talks". All the stuff people decide start revealing after you get pregnant. I mean, when you read about all these stuff in a book, feels like you're learning things that probably many people doesn't know about.When people tell you, it's like saying "now that you can't go back, let's dig the hole a bit deeper so you can feel a bit more miserable".
Starting by your doctor friends. Yes, they're nice and sweet and they're always there to answer all the questions you may have at any time of the day. Suddenly, though, for some reason, one decides to tell you about how they insert their whole arm inside a woman's uterus after the baby is born in order to clean the remains of placenta. Yes, that's true, apparently doctors do that.
They will also feel a need to tell you that, many times in normal births, they make a small cut in the vagina so that when the baby comes out, he doesn't lacerate the vagina. That's right, this is exactly the word he used. Lacerate. Wasn't life nicer before you could think about the possibility of your vagina being lacerated?
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