Pregnancy - it's beautiful and magic, but Joanne Kimes is right: it really sucks.

Written by me on Jun 28, 2009


Explaining the title: the 1st pregnancy book I got is called "Pregnancy Sucks - What to do when your miracle makes you miserable", of Joanne Kimes. Wonderful book. Intelligent, informative and specially very very funny. Recommended to every mother-to-be.

So!! The thing is, I am a bit pregnant. No, actually I think I'm passed the point where I can say "a bit". I am very much pregnant. How far away am I? Well, pregnancy math is one of the most paradoxically complicated things on Earth, comparable to that very philosophical question "why would Donald Duck wear a towel on his bottom when he comes out the shower, if normally he doesn't wear any pants?". The thing is, when you count time - for example - when a baby is born, or when you start a company or a relationship, you wait until the end of a month, for example, to say "my baby/company/relationship is one month old". When you're pregnant, you don't wait till the end of the month to say you're one month pregnant. You just say "I'm on the 1st month". So, although I am now on the 5th month, if I had started a company on the same day I got pregnant, I'd say that my company is 4 months old. Probably for this reason doctors decided that the best is to say simply "I'm on the 18th week", and just let the others do the math. Was this understandable at all? If not, don't bother. If you ever get pregnant, then start worrying about it.
The big problem with pregnancy is all the things people don't talk about, and unfortunately you start finding out only after you're already there. Oh yes. Did you think pregnancy was just that magical time when a woman grows bigger and bigger together with the expectations and the smile in her face, and everything is a sea of roses? WRONG! There are a lot of not-so-bright stuff in the middle, and a whole lot of nasty stuff as well.
I'm positive that one of the worst things is what I call "encouraging talks". All the stuff people decide start revealing after you get pregnant. I mean, when you read about all these stuff in a book, feels like you're learning things that probably many people doesn't know about.When people tell you, it's like saying "now that you can't go back, let's dig the hole a bit deeper so you can feel a bit more miserable".
Starting by your doctor friends. Yes, they're nice and sweet and they're always there to answer all the questions you may have at any time of the day. Suddenly, though, for some reason, one decides to tell you about how they insert their whole arm inside a woman's uterus after the baby is born in order to clean the remains of placenta. Yes, that's true, apparently doctors do that.
They will also feel a need to tell you that, many times in normal births, they make a small cut in the vagina so that when the baby comes out, he doesn't lacerate the vagina. That's right, this is exactly the word he used. Lacerate. Wasn't life nicer before you could think about the possibility of your vagina being lacerated?

2 great books to read when you're expecting

These are 2 very humorous but very didactic books on pregnancy and birth, based on these 2 women's personal experience. For people that, like me, have no patience whatsoever to books like "what to expect when you're expecting" that looks much more like a technical school book, these books teach you all you need to know in a funny and interesting way!

 

Find "Belly Laughs" at Amazon

  

Find "Pregnancy Sucks" in Amazon

Cool Mom Picks

 

On their own words, they're "just a few moms that track down cool stuff so you can stay busy being fabulous."

http://www.coolmompicks.com/

The Epidural

http://video.about.com/pregnancy/During-an-Epidural.htm

A few links in hebrew

Eating on pregnancy
Rehov Herayion
Materna Club
Shilav Club

Materna & Shilav Club will send you weekly newsletters on the development of your pregnancy.

Pregnancy Video

Your Pet and Your Baby

http://www.dogmanners.com/Yournew.htm

Your new "Pack Member"
Introducing Your Dog to a New Baby 
By Martin Guerra 

All the preparations have been completed! You've had the baby shower! Grandma and Grandpa have begun the spoiling ritual! The baby's room is ready! The day to bring baby home finally arrives. But wait!! What about Fido! Has he/she been prepared for the new arrival?? How is Fido going to react?
Bringing your baby home from the hospital is an exciting time. But there could be a problem lurking if you have not taken the time to prepare the "canine kid" for the baby's arrival. This is especially important when your pooch has been "top dog" up to now. By taking the time, being patient, consistent and following some simple guidelines you can make this union less traumatic and make it very successful and rewarding for all.


BEFORE BABY ARRIVES

1) Make sure your dog is obedience trained and responding well to your verbal commands. (Don't expect your dog to obey your commands if it has not been taught to do so.)
If your dog has had some obedience training take the time now to practice and reinforce those commands. It will give you peace of mind knowing that when you say "sit," "down," "stay," or "off" your dog will do it. Also, having your dog walking at heel when you're pushing that stroller can be invaluable.
    A. Curbing any mouthing or biting behavior is critical. Your dog's "play-bite," "love-nip," or "teething," etc. can cause a serious injury to an infant or toddler!!
    B. Begin to reduce the amount of attention you give your dog. It will be difficult for your dog to accept the baby when he associates it with not getting as much attention. In addition, if the dog is very demanding and nudges, paws at, barks, etc. for your attention, he could injure, frighten or wake the baby. So, begin to lower the dog's "rank" and steadily reduce the amount of attention you give him, because you sure won't have the time to shower him/her with loads of attention once the baby arrives.
When your dog is "in shape" and responding to your commands the whole process will be a lot easier as you will have the much needed control over the dog during the initial introduction and subsequent weeks.

2). Expose your dog, in a controlled manner (on leash), to as many babies as possible. Babies look, smell, sound and move differently than big humans. Get your dog as familiar with babies as you can NOW. Do this in a positive manner; offer treats, toys petting or anything the dog enjoys when it is near a baby. Remain calm and in control during the whole process. If your dog is behaving inappropriately, calmly and without emotion, remove the dog and try again later.
Begin "child proof" handling of the dog! Once your child reaches toddler age and is bantering about in the vertical position, one of the things he/she will most likely do is to grab the doggy: pulling the tail, giving hugs, drumming on, tripping over, pinching, etc. These can be threatening or challenging behaviors to your dog, causing it to react. Begin by presenting a special treat to the dog. As he/she is nibbling on the treat begin to grab, poke hug, pinch, etc. Do these gently at first, gradually increase the level of intensity over time. By getting your dog used to things now can save you a lot of grief later.
    A. Food bowl safety is another important area. Get the dog used (enjoying) others near it's bowl. While he/she is eating, put your hand into the bowl and drop a really special treat or two. Do this frequently. 
    B. Make a lot of noise around the dog. Act like a child by running through the house screaming. Yeah it sound goofy, but your dog will learn to take it in stride and not be freaked out when the baby screams or the toddler runs through the house during a full blown tantrum binge.

3) When you are preparing the house i.e., the baby's room, let your dog spend ample time in that room; teach him to lie-down in a specific area and give a special toy to chew on. Make any necessary corrections you have to and don't forget to PRAISE when the dog is being good. You want the dog to understand that he/she can be in there but it must behave accordingly.

4) A day or so before you bring baby home from the hospital, take home a blanket the baby has been wrapped in, or a cap and present them to your dog along with some yummy treats. Let him/her smell it thoroughly. This will get the dog familiar with your baby's scent, therefore, when your dog and baby meet for the first time, your dog will recognize the scent of your baby and should be more receptive. DO NOT let the dog play with it. NOTE: The blanket/scent should be associated with GOOD BEHAVIOR, not thrashing, tugging or dragging around, etc. Each time you present the scent item to the dog have him "sit" and lavish him/her with praise and treats. By doing this frequently, the dog learns to associate the scent with sitting and getting a treat.


BABY COMES HOME

1) When you bring baby home, it is a good idea for a neutral person to carry the baby into the house while you carry out your normal "dog greeting routine." Keep your greetings brief and calm.

2) After you have greeted the dog it is a good idea to put your dog's leash on for the first few encounters; that way you will have the physical control needed to prevent any inappropriate behavior. It is important to introduce the dog to the baby. This makes it clear to the dog that the baby is a new member of the "pack".
Put the baby in your lap and let the dog sniff the baby. Keep a very watchful eye on the dog; it is not okay for the dog to muzzle, nudge or paw at the baby. Pair these exercises with very positive reinforcement. Use a very special food treat that the dog normally doesn't get. The dog will learn that the presence of the baby brings good things.
If the dog does something inappropriate, calmly and WITHOUT emotion, put the dog up and try again later. Remember to positively reinforce your dog for all appropriate behavior!!
The dog may start to bark at the baby. If this occurs, distract the dog and engage it in another reinforceable behavior. If that doesn't work then immediately put the dog up. He/she will learn that barking cause him to go away, and being quiet causes him to get "cookies" he/she will make the right choice. Be PATIENT and PERSISTENT!

3) When your dog is behaving acceptably toward the baby you will need to positively reinforce him/her. Your reinforcement should occur whenever your dog is being good, i.e., quietly lying down, sitting or engaging in any behavior you deem acceptable. Reinforcement should be something the dog really loves.
NOTE: Enthusiastic, energetic and physical PRAISE may excite your dog, causing it to become "hyper" or break the last command you gave it.

4) When the baby comes home, give the dog a treat or new toy and keep to the dog's normal routine as much as possible. This will help your dog to associate the baby's presence with positive things.


DON'TS

1) Do not exclude your dog; if you have a house dog do not throw it outside once baby arrives. Conversely, if you have an outside dog make sure he/she has plenty of exposure to the baby. It is vital your dog and baby have the chance to bond and develop a relationship.

2) Do not ignore your dog during routine interaction with the baby. For example: If you are bathing the baby and your dog follows you or comes in a little later, do not chase him/her away. If you are feeding the baby allow the dog to sit next to you and as you feed (or wash) the baby talk to the dog, let him/her know what a GOOD DOG he/she is. As long as the dog is behaving let him/her be a part of the activity. If the dog misbehaves then make the necessary correction and continue on. Remember to be PATIENT and CONSISTENT.

3) Do not allow your dog to sleep/lay under the crib or cradle. A dog can upset a crib or cradle or knock down the side rails. As a general rule, the baby's toys and equipment should be off limits to your dog. Give a clear signals and set clear boundaries.

4) DO NOT EVER LEAVE YOUR BABY AND DOG ALONE FOR ANY AMOUNT OF TIME NO MATTER HOW STABLE AND TRUSTWORTHY YOU FEEL YOUR DOG IS!! Your dog is still a dog, an animal. ALWAYS put safety first and monitor EVERY interaction your dog and child have. Your presence will remind the dog that you are in charge and insure a calm interaction between the two.


THINGS TO LOOK OUT FOR

 1) POSSESSIVENESS - This is the dog claiming the baby as its own and doing what it feels is necessary to protect it. This can also happen if the dog feels threatened or he feels the "Pack" is threatened by the new intruder, the baby. This will need to be corrected IMMEDIATELY. Seek professional help if this occurs.

2) MARKING - This is your dog urinating (marking) on things. The dog could be remarking it's territory over the new scent of the baby. It is the dogs way of telling the baby (the new "pack" member) that this is his turf. Keep things you don't want peed on up. And if you catch the dog beginning to mark something, startle him/her by making a loud noise and escorting him/her outside when he/she stops.

3) DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR - Could result from a lack of attention, anxiety or jealousy. Do more obedience work and give your pooch some additional exercise.

4) If you have multiple dogs in the your home, brining a new baby into the environment can upset the pack dynamic among the dogs. It is important that you maintain the established hierarchy. Keep the existing routine and feeding schedules as much as possible. Greet the "top-dog" first, the middle dog second, etc. Let the top-dog out/in first, etc. This will go a long way to keeping the dynamic stable


FINAL REMINDER

You need to show your dog what is and isn't acceptable behavior. You must take care of inappropriate behavior immediately. You DO NOT need to STRIKE or SHOUT at your dog. You want to make ALL the interactions between your baby and dog a POSITIVE EXPERIENCE. You also need to reinforce your dog and let it know when he/she is doing what you want. THIS ALL MAY TAKE TIME! BE CONSISTENT AND PATIENT DURING THE WHOLE PROCESS. YOUR DOG WILL ADJUST TO THE NEW SITUATION.

Do's and Dont's

DO

• Sleep on your side with a pillow between your legs.
• Bend your knees (squat) to pick things up from the floor or low places.
• Use a step stool to reach high shelves.
• Drink plenty of fluids, preferably water.
• Take off rings if they get too tight on your fingers.
• Sit or stand with your shoulders and back relaxed .
• When sitting, keep your feet flat on the floor.
• Be aware that your center of gravity and balance point is changing.
• Place one foot on a low step stool if you are standing for a long period of time.
• Use a desk chair that fits you comfortably and supports your lower back.
• Adjust your car seat and steering wheel to accommodate your changing shape.
• Wash your hands thoroughly when handling uncooked meat.
• Limit caffeine intake and cut out alcohol and tobacco.

DON'T

• Hold your breath while lifting or lift heavy loads. Check with your health care provider regarding exact weight limitations.
• Hunch over your desk.
• Sit for periods longer than 30 minutes without taking a stretch break.
• Sit with your knees crossed.
• Clean kitty's litter box, or do garden work without wearing gloves.
• Strain to have a bowel movement.
• Fully immerse in a Jacuzzi or hot tub over 99 degrees Fahrenheit.
• Have laser hair removal
• OVEREXERT! If you become too tired or a little short of breath, LISTEN to your body and rest. 

Taken from http://www.babies.sutterhealth.org/during/preg_dosdonts.html

Things that are safe during pregnancy

• Exercise
• Sex
• Asthma medicine
• Hair dye
• Fake tan
• Microwaves and computers

Things to be cautious about during pregnancy

• Alcohol
• Tight jeans
• Flu jabs
• Paracetamol
• Cleaning products
• Caffeine
• Diarrhea medicines
• X-rays
• Flying
• Hay fever medication
• Paint
• Aromatherapy
• Thrush medication

Things to avoid during pregnancy

• Jacuzzis and saunas
• Smoky pubs and clubs
• Underwired bras
• Cystitis remedies
• Tampons
• Cat litter
• Vaccinations

5 golden rules for a safe pregnancy

1. Read the label
2. Don’t assume ‘natural’ means safe
3. Don’t give in to peer pressure
4. Use your common sense
5. Don’t let anxiety ruin this special time

Read more about this in here:

http://www.madeformums.com/practicalparenting/pregnancy-diet-and-fitness/pregnancy-dos-and-donts/2491.html

What you should eat during pregnancy

What you should eat:
• Food containing folic acid (green leafy vegetables, including spinach and watercress, nuts, pulses, wholegrains and fruit juice)
• Food containing iron (red meat, pulses, bread, green vegetables, fortified breakfast cereals)
• Fiber, lots of it (wholegrain bread, pasta, rice, pulses and fruit and vegetables)! It is very common for pregnant women to be constipated, so start having lots of fiber from the beginning.
• Dairy products (milk, cheese and yogurt)

What you shouldn't eat:
• Anything that isn't cooked enough. That means that your fried eggs need to be very well done (yeah, no raw yellow part), no paté (only if you do it at home not from liver and are certain that it's cooked. Most restaurants serve it raw, as well as the one you buy on the supermarket), no sushi, no undercooked meat... well, you got the idea.
• Alcohol
• Caffeine. That means also regular tea, cola drinks and energy drinks like red bull.
• Liver
• Aspartame
• Soft blue cheeses



A few links on the matter...

http://www.pregnancy-info.net/foods_to_avoid.html
http://www.eatwell.gov.uk/agesandstages/pregnancy/whenyrpregnant/
http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/pregnancycareplanner/pages/Eating.aspx
http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/pregnancy/Pages/healthyeating.aspx

Getting Started

So, I have a lot of stuff to share, so I'll try to start on pregnancy related links and then later baby related links, and so on.

Calculate your due date

http://pregnancy.about.com/cs/pregnancycalendar/l/blpregcalc.htm

Hey, welcome to the geeky mommy!

So! I'm a fresh 1st-time mommy to baby Lior, a sweet little boy who's 2 and a half months by the time I finally decided to open this blog.
Pregnancy has been quite a journey and I, being the geek I am, couldn't stop browsing the internet in a never-ending quest for information about what's going on with me and the baby. I have put together a large amount of material (and I'm still adding to it everyday) which I think is worth to place it all in one single place, either for myself or to share around with other geeky mommies as myself. I seriously doubt it that I'm gonna write too much, but I intend to post relevant links whenever I find them interesting so... well I guess that's about it :)